


of gold and silver

by harezora



Category: Karneval
Genre: Headcanon, M/M, Slow To Update
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-04-02 04:25:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4045855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harezora/pseuds/harezora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of one-shots which focuses on Yogi and silver!Yogi since this pairing is very canon and needs more love.</p><p>Updates will be irregular but I hope to write for this pair more often.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. (re-)introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A newly amnesiac Yogi introduces himself to his other half and gives him a name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since silver!Yogi is nameless in canon and I doubt he will ever get a name, I thought that it would be great to have Yogi to give him a name. Also, it would be more convenient for me to write since I can't keep referring to Silver Yogi as 'him' and calling him Silver Yogi for more than a chapter would be just weird. 
> 
> As on why I decided to call Silver Yogi as Gin, it's because gin is Japanese for silver and the names in Karneval are Japanese. And Gin has the 'gi' of Yogi, so it's a nice name too. This name will be used throughout this fic.
> 
> More like totally inspired by the Shiro fan nicknames from Bleach and Tokyo Ghoul for hollow!Ichigo (who has a name years later congrats) and white!Kaneki (currently suffering with every TG:re chapter).
> 
> In this chapter, Yogi is 10 years old and Hirato had just given him his name. Italics refer to Yogi since this chapter is mostly from silver!Yogi's POV. Can be treated as a continuation of [to carve a blank slate](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1157824/chapters/2349530)

‘… Where am I?’ A voice in the distance reached his ears. Footsteps also vibrated through the ground, waking him up from his sleep.

Eyes fluttering open, he sat up and turned around to face the boy walking towards him. Ah right, it should be _his_ first time here, that is, according to _his_ current memories. _He_ had been here before, but he had no memories of this place.

‘Uh, hello!  Do you know where is this place?’ asked the boy who was now standing in front of him. This boy was his mirror image except that he had golden hair instead of silver hair. Or rather, he looked like this boy because he was willed into existence by _him_.

Still tired, he gave a yawn before answering. ‘This place… is your, no, our mind. And you could say that I’m… a part of you. Don't ask,’ he answered curtly while glaring at  _him_  to emphasise the last part. It would be terrible if  _he_  knew of the truth now because  _he_  could not accept it earlier. One day  _he_  will have to accept it, but definitely not any time soon. Maybe when _he_ grew much older.

He might have overdone the glare, for the boy trembled slightly before regaining his composure to attempt speaking to him again. 'I-I won't ask then. Anyway, my name is Yogi, or at least that’s what Hirato-san told me because I… can’t remember. What’s your name?’ the boy asked while trying to crack a nervous smile. Yogi was very curious about the other person in this weird space although he had scared him a little.

So now  _his_  name was Yogi. He did not know Yogi’s previous name because it was blanked out in the memories and he never mentioned it. Perhaps this name had died along with his previous identity. Regarding the question Yogi posed to him, he tilted his head in confusion before he remembered humans gave words to other people and things called names. Then in this case, he did not have such a word attached to him because nobody has given him one.

‘Name? I don’t have one. Anyway, seeing that this is our mind, there will be nobody but the two of us in this space. If either of us speaks, it's obviously to each other,’ he replied. Actually he was unsure if it was just the two of them. Maybe the forgotten prince still existed somewhere in their mind but he had not explored this space enough.

‘But how am I going to call you then? It would be weird if I just call you as ‘you’! I think I’ll give you a name then,’ said Yogi as he scrunched his eyebrows in concentration to think of a name for his other half. ‘Let’s see… How about Gin? It's just like the colour of your hair!’

‘Uh… okay. I’ll accept it since you’re giving it to me,’ the newly named Gin responded hesistantly. Just then, Yogi could see a slight smile on Gin's face before his expression went back to the scowl he held previously.

‘Alright, nice to meet you, Gin!’ Yogi exclaimed while squeezing Gin’s hands tightly.

As suddenly as Yogi appeared, he started to fade away from his mind. ‘It looks like I have to wake up soon… I hope to see you again!’ he shouted and waved to Gin.

‘Yeah… see you,’ Gin managed to utter before Yogi disappeared completely, leaving him alone in his mindscape again.

It seemed like Yogi was off to a good start with Circus and for the first time ever, he felt hopeful for their future. Of course it was thanks to Circus that this was possible or else they would still be suffering in the hellish laboratory.

…And it felt nice for him to have a name, even though he did not think much of it at first. Little did he know that Circus was going to use the name of his other half on him, yet treating him completely differently from Yogi.


	2. expectations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place after Score 4 in the manga. Yogi has just met Gareki and Nai. He is excited to get to know them better, but also worried that he may not be able to protect them. Gin looks forward to the day when he can meet them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next few will take place in the time when the Karneval plot takes place. I'm planning to write scenes of Yogi and Gin meeting during the Rinoll and Merumerai arcs after this one. There's definitely something behind the scenes with these two, especially Gin's confusion over protecting Gareki in Rinoll. Thank goodness for Score 64 confirming the fact that there is an inner world.
> 
> Ah, it feels so refreshing to refer to Gin with a name after 'the truth's in a freeze' and 'contact insanity' had no names to refer to him. Finally, I realised that I can't really write happier stories although I want to. It tends to be short compared to my despairing stories orz.

Finding himself in the inner world, Yogi rushed to find Gin. Today was a very eventful day and he could not wait to tell Gin about it.

‘I’m back!’ Yogi yelled, hoping that Gin would hear him.

’Whaaaat? You don’t have to be so loud. There’s only the two of us here,’ Gin grumbled while approaching Yogi.

‘But it’s so quiet here!’ Yogi pouted. ‘Anyway, today was great! There was a parade so I didn't have to fight today and now there are two new people on the second ship to join everyone~’

As a Circus fighter, Yogi never got to meet or know many people. The fact that people were going to stay with him instead of passing by during parades was something very significant to Yogi.

‘Really? How are they like?’ Gin asked, his eyes brightening as his interest was piqued. If Yogi knew few people, Gin knew even fewer people than Yogi. Although Gin got a feeling that he would not really get to know these new people either, this was an interesting turn of events.

‘One of them is a black-haired teenager who is really mean to everyone. His name is Gareki. The other is a very adorable white-haired boy called Nai. I look forward to know them better! That’s all I can tell you since I only met them today,’ Yogi explained excitedly.

‘Gareki and Nai huh… will I meet them?’ Gin queried. Would Yogi be able to get along with them? He was a friendly and kind person and it was evident in how he could be sympathetic to someone as terrible as him and even the Varuga he killed. However, sometimes he would get a little overenthusiastic, which Gin found a little annoying at times.

‘Oh, and I’ve been tasked to protect these two… because Kafka are targeting them. As for whether you’ll meet them, I get this feeling that you will. Kafka is getting stronger and I- I’m not sure if I can cope… Ah, you know how I hate fighting and I’m weak unlike you. If I fail at protecting them, please protect them on my behalf,’ Yogi confided, with his tone way more serious than before.

By being involved with Circus, the newcomers were going to face lots of danger. Yogi most definitely did not want to see them hurt and he doubted his ability to protect them.It would be terrible if anything bad happened to them due to his incompetency.

‘Don’t say that. You know very well that if I take over, you’ll have to suffer. But since you asked, I will protect them along with you if anyone decides to mess with Circus’s sparkling prince. Maybe I’ll even get to play with Gareki and Nai after I make the enemies scream! That's even more fun than fighting.’ Gin exclaimed. Although he liked being in control and fighting, he knew that if the situation got so dire, both of them would be hurt very badly and be out for a few days.

‘That’s just a possibility and I hope it does not happen. Anyway, I’ll have to go back to sleep so that I can guide Gareki and Nai tomorrow. I’ll tell you all more about them next time! Good night.’ Yogi bade farewell to Gin with a smile despite trembling a little at the last part of what Gin said. He never got quite used to the creepy and sadistic part of Gin.

As he walked away to the real world, Yogi hoped that the day that Gin would get to meet Gareki and Nai would not come too soon. Their impression of him and whatever left of his reputation would be at stake if it happened. But as long as he wore the patch, it should be fine.

Meanwhile, Gin hoped that if he got to meet Gareki and Nai, they would not think too badly of him, unlike Yogi’s colleagues in Circus. But knowing himself, he was not too positive about it. He could still hope though.  


	3. doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While exploring more of his inner world, Yogi finds a door lined with chains and locks. Gin makes sure that Yogi never goes in there, for his memories are something that nobody should ever see. Not even Yogi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Score 105-6 was so good with Yogi despairing over getting his memory back and then silver!Yogi kicking his ass to the right side. What if there was another door, but with silver!Yogi's own memories? I wrote something along this line for a Tumblr RP blog drabble so I'm rewriting it with more inspiration from canon~
> 
> Otherwise I'm also having so much feels over Utapri Season 4 Episode 7 with the Satsuki/Natsuki conversation... I hope Mikanagi-sensei also gives silver!Yogi the kind of treatment that Satsuki receives, especially being told that he is kind. Otherwise I'll need to write it and I don't even have time anymore. Maybe the next chapter of this and I'll feature Gareki and Nai. ;A;
> 
> Last time the comparison was with Tokyo Ghoul, this time will be with Utapri. Both Yogi and Natsuki are tall fluffy haired blondswho likes cute things with silver!Yogi and Satsuki as aggressive but actually kind and misunderstood split personality. Actually come to think of it, Yogi is in the wrong series. He deserves to be in an idol series not fighting monsters.

Ever since Yogi had regained his past memories, his access of the inner world had expanded. He would occasionally look at the ruins behind the door with the Circus emblem, or otherwise he explored the unraveling path that lead from the grand door.

After all that threatening and that kick, Gin had helped him sort through his past memories by reminding him that he is safe with Circus whenever he was about to be consumed by a traumatic memory. Those memories involving the Kafka laboratory and Research Tower were the worst. How kind of Gin, Yogi thought, as he smiled slightly. If only the others could see this side of Gin...

As he pondered while he walked, Yogi saw a something shining. As he went closer, he saw that it was a small door with a single silver lock, surrounded by many chains. Yogi felt a tingle of fear go down his spine as he looked at it. There was also a metallic smell, which Yogi was hoping it was the rust on the chains, but it smelled more like blood. 

What was in there? There was only one other person who would know, who was walking next to him.

'D-do you know what lies beyond this door?' Yogi asked, while trying to remain calm.

Gin looked at Yogi and at the door. His frowned for a second, before grinning widely. Oh no, Yogi thought. It was that sadistic grin. Which was scarier than the door nearby. And just a moment ago, he thought that Gin was kind. To think that Gin also grinned like that when in control of their body in the real world too...

'My playthings? But they weren't that fun after I was done playing with them though. It was so amusing to hear them scream as I stabbed them~' 

Yogi cowered in fear. 'Please stop...'

'Sorry. I got too excited. Forgot it's not your thing. Anyway, that door and whatever lies beyond is mine. Don't go there again, alright? Let's go somewhere else.' Gin led Yogi away, relieved that Yogi no longer showed curiosity about that door. The bluff had worked, it seemed.

That chained up door actually led to Gin's own memory.

Most of it was despair. It began with waking up for the first time in the Kafka laboratory, in response to a cry from a broken soul who had willed for his existence. Then decimating the scientists who had turned the prince into a monster, only to realise that it could not bring them out from their purgatory.

Excruciating pain of waking up with Yogi's injuries. Although he could heal them with his powers, it did not change the fact that he had to experience that pain first and Yogi experienced that pain before passing out. That was too many broken bones and blood lost. Waking up in an unknown place every time really sucked.

Insane glee from his short-lived freedom and fun from his playtime of finding the most fun way to slaughter an enemy. Killing only became pleasurable because everything else was unpleasant.

Anger at Circus's treatment of him and being powerless to do anything about it despite his overflowing power on the battlefield. Damn Hirato manipulating them no matter which personality was in control.

Loneliness from being forcibly locked inside his mental world most of the time. 

Yogi should not know any of these. He should continue to shine brightly like he always did, for he still had a hopeful future.The past memories had already hurt him so much, so Gin did not want to hurt him any further. Even if it meant lying to his other half.


End file.
